Friday, March 23, 2007
this is a
friday.and therefore gives me the liberty to put up rubbish posts.
so with that, i present to you a new list.
hope it makes your sides split as much as it did for my sides.
hah!
enjoy.
the
very short list of
different types
of
major turns-offs
(males)
1. The Hanky Guyi'm not talking about the sort of
oozing with charm middle-aged richard gere-estque kinda men who carries
crisp white hankies and whips them out of their back pockets should their female companion be unable to find a tissue in time. i am, most
unfortunately, talking about the skinny hunchbacked guys who keep their crumpled (possibly
mucus-filled) hankies in their pockets, together with their wallets and handphones. eew. they usually wear glasses that constantly slip down their noses too. haha. lydia and i couldn't decide which was worse: wiping his sweat or blowing his nose (loudly). try imagining.
2. The Penguinyou know what im talking about, don't you. the guys who walks with his feet is a constant "V". like happy feet. heh. i couldnt decide if the north-south-east-west swaggerers were worst. you decide.
3. The Crybabyhey. i'm all for
male sensitivity and all. but honestly, can you imagine a guy tearing up over a movie when you come out of the theatre all dry-eyed? it's so wrong. it's a
perversion of nature of some sort. haha. somehow, the sight of a sobbing male, is painful to watch.
excruciating even. sniff sniff, whatever happened to the MEN who shed
blood and not
tears.
4. The Pink V-neck top Guyi shall assume that no explanation is needed for this.
5. The Nipple Guyimagine short muscular guy in a white singlet.and smack in the middle, a NIPPLE. eew. heard of nipple tape?
6. The (white-based) Sports Shoes Guysports shoes are meant for sports and nothing else honey. no buts.
7. The Tote-Bag guypls tell me you know what's a tote.
yeah. that's a Coach tote. and imagine that on your guy.
no further elaboration required.
8. The Sloppy One
i'm thinking jeans and slippers. or sandals even. berms CAN work with sneakers. with slippers too. but jeans must
ALWAYS ALWAYS go with shoes of some sort.
9. Mr Oil-Blotterhaha! this cracks me up so bad. hahaha. i heard a story once. a gf took out an oil blotter in public and starting blotting her own face, mistake number 1. mistake number 2, the bf asks her for one. hahaha! dun cringe just yet. mistake number 3, he blots, helps himself to a second. and THEN, he presents his "masterpiece(s)" to his gf. like, "see! these sheets of blue paper contains my oil.TAKE IT!" hahaha! cue cringe.
10. The Cologne Loveryou know how sometimes when you walk past a guy, and a second later, you hit this
invisible wall of cologne. i mean, cologne smells good when it's subtle. but too much, makes you feel like throwing up.
11. The Handphone Pouch Guyhaha. LOUD ringtone on the bus, and he whips his handphone POUCH from his pocket. if you absolutely Insist on a pouch, which in itself alr sounds strange, opt for simpler ones. less gay. trust me.
12. The Narcissistwalk past a mirror, touch his hair. another mirror, his face. another mirror, his hair again. i mean, seriously, i can't see a strand of hair that's out of place. you know you need help when you take longer than your gf in the public washrooms. and you DO need immediate attention if she's been waiting for abt 20mins. (unless you've been doing, erm, other stuff in the washroom that doesn't require the mirror. in this case, you're excused).
13. The Duck-(voiced)heh heh.lydia's personal favourite. you know how a guy's voice is sometimes higher-pitched than his gf's? hahaha. yeah.
14. The Swear-eron the mrt, just when you were minding your own business, a group of guys come in. and somehow, they have this weird idea that swearing loudly on public tranport charms the socks of the girls. and so that's what they do. the f*** this, cb that, lan **** you and whatever hokkien words i cant rmb. oh you think it's so cool? occasionally, yeah it's fine. during sports, ah, acceptable. but once in every sentence just gets annoying. esp if you have
The duck voice. i'm so sorry, perhaps im just bias. haha.
15. The (i'm-too-lazy-to-hold-the-) Door Guyyou know the HEAVY glass door at taka when you go down to the basement. you're lugging your shopping up and finally reach the top of the escalator. you're behind this man in a business suit who looks all refined and whatnot, and you're just about to walk out of the door behind him. and bang, he opens the door just a crack enough for himself to fit in and slithers out of the door. leaving you to do a nose dive with the door. and at that point of time, i wouldnt blame you if you felt like swearing too.
16. The Guy who eats like yewiha ha, yewi is my baby sister. she's 13 years old, 145cm and 31kg. yeah. don't you just hate it when a guy picks at his food, cant decide on a restaurant, stops eating before you finish cos he's "absolutely STUFFED" when half his portion is still on his plate. then you look at your plate and it's all shiny and clean. then you feel like killing yourself for looking like such a
pig. then you feel like killing him for being so, yewi.
17. The Guy who doesn't know how to use the ShaverSHAVE PROPERLY. you either leave enough there to look like you're keeping it, or just shave it all off, clean-shaven. neither here nor there makes you look like you duno how to shave properly.
18. Mr LATEno explanation needed.
19. The My-underswear-is-sooo-cool-i-gotta-show-the-whole-world Guyhahaha. red, yellow, black, white, calvin klein, armani or spongebob. i don't really care. just pls, look decent. it ain't no G-string sweetheart.
20. The HairBand Guyif you hair is long and annoying your eyes, CUT YOUR HAIR. though if you DO wannaa look like a cross between neighbourhood ah beng and neighbourhood ah lian, by all means, put that pink hairband on. leaving it around your neck is quite appropriate too.
coutesy of yeni and lydia
hope it made you laugh as hard as it made me and lydia.
with that,
g'nite sunshines.
yeni posted at 10:02 PM â¢
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