Wednesday, August 23, 2006
this is an extremely random post.
i jus felt this inexplicable urge to write sth.or rather,type sth.
so anyway.it was a pretty normal day at school today.just with a little more,weariness.school will always be school huh.haha.but it was kind of odd.like,everything.ok,let's try to place it.
i dragged my unblievable heavy self off my bed this morning at the UNEARTHLY hour of 6AM for SCHOOL.as usual,the thoughts of feigning illness would gently flit through my mind,but would as quickly be erased by shreds of guilt and honesty within my decent self.i finally reached school with my eyes still half-closed.lessons lessons lessons.then came the teacher's day "audition"-like thingie.which was sort of on the awkward side if you ask me.the thingie ate into our recess and typically nice ms tang allowed us a 10min recess sorta.and then in came queenbee,mrs M_ _S_ _,down with what she claimed was stomach flu.you know,i was in perth once during summer,and those are the times when those shameless little annoying houseflies actually possess the audacity to perch on your very nose.and somehow,there's always this incomprehensible urge to just swat it off and murder that thing cos its very presence makes you want to,well.jus kill it.so ANYWAY.yea.queenbee's lik THAT.the absolute unadulterated replica.i cant believe she made that completely unsubstantial comment,no,ASSUMPTION,that the parents of ALL 3M students were not proud of them.that was unquestionably uncalled for.but anyway.
ARGH.
had cca.went home.went for a short run.watched sg idol.VERY VERY controversial.shall not go into that JUST YET.then i did my ss work.so,that about rounds up everything.
ok.completely boring.i KNOW.but my whole point is that,well.i dunno actually.
all of a sudden,i just feel this overpowering weariness and exasperation.so i question,is this
1)stress
2)some female hormonal imbalance
3)end-year exam stress
4)or some obscure abstract unfathomable reason?
ok.maybe cos im jus sick of school.or that i find it so excruciatingly drilling that its the occasional dry,pissed-off-at-anything-&-everything period.ok,now i feel lik im talkin to myself.
its jus that i feel so much tension.pressure.SOMETHING.im bothered by this gal.but i have no intention of my following posts to be filled with random "she"s and "he"s cos i find it annoying.so,i shan't go on abt her.
i see no point in this.ok,there is a point,i know.but it seems so far and deary.so,hard to grasp.maybe becos i haven't been goin to church, or that i stopped believing in Him already.MAYBE.im not sure.i really have no idea.maybe i should believe in Him,take my chances and all.but im just not positive that He could/would make me feel better?its times lik these when i start thinkin about God.ok,i know its bad.but i start wondering whether i really need him,whether i could love Someone that now seems so foreign,and whether He could take my negativity away.and even if He would,im not sure i want to commit myself to Him.whether i can.
ahh.i dunno.ok,im rambling la.i hadn't planned on talkin about God or anything like that whatsoever.but,it jus turned out lik that.i tink im jus in one of THOSE moods la.haha.dun bother if you fail to interpret my GOBBLEDYGOOK.=) haha.i love that word.i dun get myself sometimes too.haha.
and you know what?i realised that there's no point in what im writing.aiya!NVM.i'll do less of these senseless gibberish next time.haha.=) that's all for now.
yeni posted at 11:52 PM â¢
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